if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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