I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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