It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
