my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize