we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
