At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
