I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
