Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
