Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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