My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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