dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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