i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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