I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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