Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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