Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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