ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
