if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
