I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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