thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
