yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
