Yo dont text me then not text me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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