saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
