And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
