She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
