I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
