Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
