I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize