Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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