Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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