the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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