Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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