My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
