Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
