I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
