I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
