is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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