you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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