He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
