Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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