i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
