well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize