NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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