So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
