I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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