Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
