Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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