I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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