the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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