I just made out with a guy for $7.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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