dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got inside last night via doggy door
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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